Thank You for Being Such a Pain

March 2, 1998
It may seem impossible, or even undesirable, to generate a feeling of gratitude toward the people who make our lives miserable, but management consultant Rosen makes a convincing case for using the difficulties they engender as "one of our most important life lessons." He draws on Eastern and Jewish mystical doctrines that teach that "life is like a school" and "conflicts that seem to be chance occurrences are actually orchestrated for our spiritual development." Difficult individuals, whether they be relatives, bosses, co-workers, neighbors or clerks, can be seen as "teachers" delivering "a divine kick in the spiritual butt." What's more, Rosen states, "the Universe delivers unto us the ideal foe, a person whose characteristics exactly correspond to the places within us that need learning and healing." If we don't learn the lessons they bring, similar problems will perpetually resurface until we do. In a clear, conversational tone, Rosen covers seemingly every possible reason, response, interpretation and lesson that can be attached to unpleasant relationships. They can serve as mirrors, wake-up calls or chances to stand up for ourselves or to become more forgiving. They can help us develop "latent qualities," rectify the past or prepare for the future. With quotes, summaries and exercises throughout this thoughtful book, Rosen thoroughly explores new ways to view personal conflicts and to use them for healing.